Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Site has MOVED:

PLEASE GO TO HTTP://RANDOMFALLINGTHOUGHTS.WORDPRESS.COM

I HAVE MOVED DUE TO MORE FUNCTIONALITY AND SLEEKER DESIGN.


NO MORE POSTS WILL APPEAR ON THIS SITE AS OF TODAY.


********************** How Do You Feel... Let Me know...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Life...

I feel trapped by a system i didn't create.  My time at Lake Rayburn, id like to say was a favorable time, has not been as such.  There are bright spots in the 2 years because of people that i have met and or reconnected with.

Family issues that are a worsening situation with the impending death of my most beloved Grandmother has spurned sad feelings with family members.  Watching a person that raised you from 4 till you got your act together is a hard sight to take. Watching them become a far pale shade of a human being, once so vibrant and full of life, to a dieing husk of a former person is not a wondrous sight to behold.

Trying to make a life anew, once again, is tenuous at best in the rural, wooded area that is Lake Rayburn. With no big industry or prospects there of, one has to do what he or she can to make a living.

Living here makes me long for the hustle and bustle of the big metro areas that i once lived with culture and prospects of betterment to ones life unlike the sedate lake life. Ventures in a rural town are cumbersome at best because you are an outsider once again trying to break into the "Good Ole Boy" system that is in place. Where deals are cut at the deer lease and in the "religious" institutions of the city. A hand shake and a verbal contract do not hold up even for life long friends of "the family" as i have discovered.

Sometimes it is nice to go to a place where everyone knows who you are and who your parents are but then again, privacy is much preferred in the city life where you are just another face in the crowd...

SO i do hear distant voices calling from my past like echos from the Elder Gods of time immoral when we were a fledgling species.  Go forth and see what is out there, do not stay in your comfort zone(s) Go and make a life anew in a different place and Live, Live, Live...


********************** How Do You Feel... Let Me know...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Recover and Addiction.

The last 5-6 posts about Recovery and AA or from my own personal experiences.   I wrote the series way back in 2007 while i was on Night Shift at Qimonda Semiconductor fab in Sandston Virginia.

I felt a need to put my self out there and if it helped just one person, then it was worth it to me...


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Trading Drugs? 3/4/08

While i am on the road going to work, i listen to the local radio station. They always play commercials to pay for their air time and i keep hearing one for substance abuse. A person will come on and say do you or someone you know use meth, or cocaine, or alcohol? IF you, you might qualify for a study to take a pill to see if it stops the cravings of the substance(s) you take. you will be compensated with money and travel time. Please call...

This just pisses me off to know ends. On May 5, 2008; i will be 5 years clean and sober and no, i repeat no PILL helped me stop! I was in rehab for 28 days straight and worked a good program for many years afterward to stop. I did not and do not take a pill to stay off drugs and alcohol. No one paid me to stop, i did it on my own.

My compensation for doing so is a clean, sober life. I do not have to get up and take my "no drugs" pill to stave off the cravings and insanity. But let me digress, without a spiritual awakening and the power of God; it would not have happened and or continue to happen. That is not to say i have to live my life "one day at a time;" i make future plans and i try to be the best person i can be and lead a clean healthy life.

So, i guess my point is, they might come up with a pill to make you not want to use anymore but who wants to be bound with a pill to stop taking drugs? SO you put down the crack pipe for a pill to stop; get the picture? If you want to get sober and clean it can be done. Ask for help and get into a 12-Step program that best suits you habit. AA, CA, NA, they are all good if worked correctly and with divine guidance and prayer they will and can work everyday. You can try the "pill" but you will only trade one substance for another, it might not be as bad; it might cost the same or more; you might fill the craving void, but it is not the correct way...

********************** How Do You Feel... Let Me know...